sleep.

i need to work on my nerves. i can’t keep getting wound tight and then releasing everything that’s built up. it’s not healthy, and it’s not productive. i mean, i try conventional methods of handling my anger, frustration, and every other negative emotion, and nothing seems to work. i keep getting myself worked up over the smallest of things, then i schedule things so that they intertwine, and i know i’m doing this and i hate that i continue to allow myself to do this. 

just.

ugh.

i want to fucking rest. i want a day where i don’t have to worry about school. about my family. about humanity. about me. 

i just want to sleep. read a book. lay around with my cats. lay around with my boy. 

i want to be blissfully happy for more than 5 minutes. i want to savor the moments, rather than have something “pop up” to ruin it all. 

it’s amazing how hours worth of bliss can be reduced to nothing in seconds. 

it truly is.

thankfully, it’s just as easy for my mood to change for the better, but it takes a lot to do so. once i’m down, i’m out for the count. (most days)

certain people and things (ie Finch, Sigur Ros, and my cats) can change my mood for the better within seconds. 

thank god.