sleep.

i need to work on my nerves. i can’t keep getting wound tight and then releasing everything that’s built up. it’s not healthy, and it’s not productive. i mean, i try conventional methods of handling my anger, frustration, and every other negative emotion, and nothing seems to work. i keep getting myself worked up over the smallest of things, then i schedule things so that they intertwine, and i know i’m doing this and i hate that i continue to allow myself to do this. 

just.

ugh.

i want to fucking rest. i want a day where i don’t have to worry about school. about my family. about humanity. about me. 

i just want to sleep. read a book. lay around with my cats. lay around with my boy. 

i want to be blissfully happy for more than 5 minutes. i want to savor the moments, rather than have something “pop up” to ruin it all. 

it’s amazing how hours worth of bliss can be reduced to nothing in seconds. 

it truly is.

thankfully, it’s just as easy for my mood to change for the better, but it takes a lot to do so. once i’m down, i’m out for the count. (most days)

certain people and things (ie Finch, Sigur Ros, and my cats) can change my mood for the better within seconds. 

thank god.

lord.

i was going to post about Kony 2012 and how much it angered me, but that doesn't directly interfere with my day-to-day life. sooooooo i'll rant a little about school, my boyfriend, and my family.
 i'm supposed to graduate at the end of this semester, and it's freaking me the fuck out. i think i'm failing my economics class and i need that to graduate. ugh, if anything, i'll come out with a D and barrreelly make it. on top of me graduating, my boyfriend graduates as well, and he's fielding job offers from across the US. i reeaally hope he stays with CCIT for a while.
hell, knowing me and my luck, we won't be a couple by the time we graduate. i have major trust issues and this past week has been testing my limits. he doesn't seem like the type to be hiding anything, but i'm not the best judge of a person's character. ugh. i just feel shitty about the whole situation.
 last, but not least, my family is uber-stress inducing. my mom doesn't understand that 8am classes are hell, and i refuse to wake up at 4am just to start getting ready and bareelly make it on time.